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Presentation to the Joint Senate House of Commons Committee - Government of Canada - on Custody and Access
- May 9, 1998 (Winnipeg, Manitoba)
Reena Sommer, Ph.D.
Thank you for asking me to present at this very important meeting.
I bring to this meeting contributions from two distinct areas of expertise; my work as a researcher as well as my work as a family life consultant.
Together, they have shaped and solidified my understanding of how families function and cope under a variety of conditions. Importantly, by being able to draw from aspects of both disciplines, I am able to move beyond the emptiness and detachment of unnamed and unknown data points, by experiencing first hand the human drama they each represent. In doing so, I can consider the strengths and limitations of each discipline, thus providing me with a more finely tuned picture of family life.
My work as a researcher has focused on perpetrators of spousal abuse within the general population. The results of my research have found no significant differences between the rates of abuse perpetrated by males and females. These findings have been met with controversy and have been widely disputed even in the presence of similar findings reported by other Canadian, U.S. and British researchers. Unfortunately, this area of research has been highly politicized by special interest groups who fail to consider that violence stemming from inappropriate management of conflict and anger is not a gender issue but a human condition. Because of this predominating and narrow view of human interactions, findings such as mine and others have been ignored, minimized or simply discounted.
My clinical work on the other hand has been more mainstream and certainly less news worthy. It is divided between
working as a consultant and therapist in First Nations communities in northern Manitoba and conducting similar work,
but servicing the general population in Winnipeg. This work has complimented my research findings by demonstrating the
following:
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Domestic abuse comes in many forms with its effects extending
beyond the identified perpetrator and victim.
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The demarcation between perpetrator and victim is often blurred
because the abuse most often occurs within the context of poor communication skills, ineffective means of managing
conflict, alcohol and drug abuse and histories of abuse experienced in the respective partners’ families of origin.
Importantly, the abuse tends to be nonphysical and when it is, it also tends to be reciprocal.
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Often times, concerns regarding domestic abuse or a partner’s
ability to parent are raised at a time when couples experience difficulty resolving the dissolution of their relationship.
It is my experience that allegations of abuse and inadequate parenting are fueled by anger and resentment, as well as
by both parents’ vulnerability and fear of losing their children.
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Based on my
10 years of studying and working with families, I would like to put forth the following three recommendations:
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While domestic abuse is
an important consideration in determining custody and access, when allegations are made, caution must be exercised to
ensure that the context, history and progression of family violence are clearly established.
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An attempt should be made to mediate all custody and access cases
as a first course of action. The exceptions would be those cases where safety is a concern as indicated by a
documented histories of unidirectional abuse, violent criminal activity, or mental illness. Given the reciprocal
nature of most domestic abuse cases found in the general population, safety can be ensured by the mediator establishing
ground rules regarding conduct during meetings.
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Finally, when attempting to resolve
custody and access issues, the feelings which underlie custody disputes should be addressed first. Often, when parents’
fears are allayed, concerns about custody and access likewise tend to diminish.
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At this time, I invite your questions and comments. Thank you again.
The findings of the committee can be found in their report entitled "For Sake of the Children".
QUESTION!
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Dear Friend:
I sincerely hope you did. If you know of someone you think would benefit from what you just read, please forward this web page to them.
I've developed a number of ebooks and ecourses that may be of interest to you. They contain very useful information on a variety of topics related to divorce, custody and extramarital affairs.
I invite you to take a few minutes to check them out. You won't be sorry. Just click on any of the product covers on the sidebar to the left. While you're at it download a FREE COPY of "The Divorce & Custody Resource Handbook" - CLICK HERE!
Have a nice day...
Dr. Reena
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