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The Truth About Emotional Love Affairs
Do Emotional Affairs Last?

by
Dr. Reena Sommer

The Origin of Emotional Affairs

During the past decade the definition of infidelity or extramarital affairs has broadened to include the emotional connections that develop between two people outside of a marriage. Although intense emotional bonding has always been a part of extramarital love affairs, there is no doubt that the increased popularity of Internet based chat lines has been responsible for the realization that extramarital affairs and infidelity go beyond having sex outside of marriage or a committed relationship. And thus, the "emotional affair" is becoming more common among people who feel a sense of emptiness and lack of fulfillment in their current relationship or marriage.

Do Emotional Affairs Last?

The question is - "do emotional affairs last?" Although maintaining a long term secret love affair is both stressful and challenging because of the logistics and deception involved, it is the emotional connection that develops between the two lovers that sustains the extramarital affair. Clearly, sexual intimacy is an important element of any intimate relationship. But it should also be recognized that much of the passion in a physical relationship comes from the emotional intimacy that exists between the partners. In other words, it's the emotional connection that fuels the sexual intimacy and it is the glue that holds the relationship together over time.

Why Affairs Occur in the First Place?

Another way to look at this issue is to consider the reasons for why the infidelity occurred in the first place. Unless the affair was the result of a one-night stand, poor judgment or too much to drink, then it is likely that what led to it was an absence of emotional intimacy in the marriage or committed relationship. Had it been present, there is no doubt that the infidelity would not have occurred.

 

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Dr. Reena Sommer,
M.Sc. (Family Studies),
Ph.D.(Psychology & Family Studies)

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League City, TX. 77573

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