Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy)
Do These Infidelity Statistics Seem a Bit Startling?...
Or, Perhaps Not!
Basically, what these findings suggest is that approximately one half of all married men and women seek intimacy outside of their committed relationships.
But what does this really mean? Why are the number of men and women having extramarital affairs so high? I'll tell you - these staggeringly high infidelity figures mean that something is really lacking in their marriages to lead them to look else where.
So Is It Sex?
Or Something Else?
This may come as a complete surprise, but most extramarital affairs are NOT about sex! If not sex, then what? Pay attention - the reason most people find intimacy with someone outside of their marriage is because their emotional needs are not being met. Yes, it's true! Most cases of infidelity are about wanting to feel emotionally connected to someone.
I realize that what I am suggesting may not be particularly popular, especially among men and women who are on the receiving end of infidelity. Clearly, finding out that your spouse or partner has cheated on you is both shocking and painful. Realizing that you are just another infidelity statistic is not something one is wants to flaunt.
The reality is that there are a lot of unsatisfying and empty relationships out there. However, the reason why infidelity statistics are as high as they are is because people place a higher value on their careers, children, friends or hobbies and not on their relationships with their partners. Think about it - if you neglect any of these others, certainly they would falter and fail. Is it not surprising that your relationship would likewise fail?
The bottom line is - if you want to avoid becoming yet another infidelity statistic, then you must nurture and prioritize your relationship with your spouse or partner. As you may have already figured out, just like planes, relationships cannot be maintained on "auto-pilot" indefinitely.
To Learn More About the
Causes of Infidelity
Recovering from Infidelity?
Learn How to make the Process Less Painful
Have You Decided to End Your Marriage
But Don't Know How To Do It?
Don't make another move until you check out "How To End A Marriage", an e-Book I recently co-authored with Michael Daniel. Do yourself a favor and read the free excerpt, "How To Cope When Your Spouse Goes Ballistic With The News You Are Leaving". I am confident that once you have, you will then feel compelled to buy it.
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Dr. Reena Sommer
M.Sc. Family Ph.D. Psychology & Family Studies
League City, Texas 77573