Married Women Seeking Affair

By
Dr. Reena Sommer

Infidelity statistics reveal that 45% of married women are having extramarital affairs (Atwood & Schwartz,2002). These figures clearly indicate there are a whole lot of married women seeking affairs. The first questions that come to mind are - who are these women and why do they stray from their relationships or marriages? Given that the research suggests that almost half of all married women are having extramarital affairs, there is a pretty good chance that you may know some of the married women seeking affairs.

The fact of the matter is that infidelity is very wide spread. With all of modern technology, having an extramarital affair today is made much easier than in the past. With cell phones, text messaging and chatrooms, there is more opportunity for people to have affairs. But since the prevalence of infidelity has only recently become a research interest, it is difficult to say with any certainty whether infidelity is actually on the rise or if people are just more willing to talk about it. The undisputed reality is - extramarital affairs are occuring with great frequency and regularity.

Having a extramarital affair is not a new phenomenon. In fact, having a mistress or a lover is well documented in history books. As a matter of fact, having several mistresses was a sign of affluence among British aristocracy.The term "concubine" which referes to a woman who is conjugally related to a man - but in a position inferior to his spouse had biblical references. Looking at infidelity from a sociological perspective, it can be argued that having extramarital relations, a mistress or a lover serves an important purpose. Like it or not, infidelity makes it possible for people in committed marriages or relationships to meet their emotional and sexual needs with someone else while still maintaining the infrustructure of their primary relationships. Sounds a bit callous - but historically, it works!

So why is it that so many married women are involved in extramarital affairs? I suppose it is for the same reason that so many men are also having them. The truth of the matter is that many marriages and relationships are severely lacking in very important ways. On an emotional level, I see many of my clients saying that the main reason they found someone else is because they did not feel valued, respected and cared for in their marriage. These qualities are the cornerstones of relationships and form the basis for trust and intimacy. When marriages lack these essential qualities, they are vulnerable to infidelity

The bottom line is - strong, healthy and satisfying relationships are never at risk for infidelity. Think about it - why would anyone want to risk losing the deep commitment and caring of a spouse or partner?

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